


Inaccuracies

by Plugs



Series: Aliens [1]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Author attempts to write something roughly set in the 1980s, Other, weird alien biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plugs/pseuds/Plugs
Summary: Sparkplug had watched the cartoon out of curiosity. Spike actually brought a Bumblebee toy.But in the end it just reminded him how humanity wanted to see humanoid robots. Not inorganic beings that were more, well, alien.
Series: Aliens [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993231
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Inaccuracies

Sparkplug had watched the cartoon out of curiosity. Spike actually brought a Bumblebee toy.

But in the end it just reminded him how humanity wanted to see alien humanoid robots. Not inorganic beings that were more, well, _alien_. Optimus had been disappointed at the way his mandibles were rendered as a moving face mask.

Jazz had laughed for hours at the show. Then it got _weird_.

“Prowler, we’re the same height—and I turn into a _car_ ,” Jazz laughed. Prowl tilted his helm as Jazz continued giggle and roll in his lap, his antenna flicking.

“They also incorrectly identify many mechs as minibot’s when they are scout class—and portray us as a single mechanism,” Prowl agreed. 

“Uh,” Sparkplug attempted to mentally untangle what Prowl just said and failed miserably.

“...Sparky, you’re making that ‘human is confused’ noise again.” Jazz looked over to Sparkplug who was sitting at a mech height platform set up in the rec room. It’d been constructed to avoid any potential danger to humans from the less careful Autobot’s.

“I...thought you were two people?” Sparkplug looked at the two— _one_ mech—feeling like a kid answering something wrong in class. “I know Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are Spinout collectively. Is this like that?”

Prowl stretched his transparent veined wings. “In some ways yes. but I and Jazz are not one mech in two bodies.”

Sparkplug nodded and reached for his tape recorder. After living with the Autobot’s he’d needed it often to record their history, culture and social habits. He sometimes felt like Attenborough, that English naturalist Hound loved to watch on TV.

Jazz climbed up to Prowl’s shoulder and pointed to his wings. “It’s like these and seeker wings—they’re both wings, but one of them is made to keep cool, the other to fly.” Prowl flexed his wings. It made Sparkplug think of a giant dragonfly even if the mech was flightless.

Prowl looked down at the frowning human. “I do not think he understands the explanation.”

“—it’s okay. So you’re not two separate bodies but look like one from my perspective,” Sparkplug replied. “Humans don’t work like this so it’s very...new to me.”

The animated Jazz on the screen danced to some music. The cartoon got some personality basics right at least. Even if it couldn’t decide where the Constructicons came from.

“I got an idea!” The real Jazz’s audials flexed. “I did some internet searching—don’t worry, I remembered safe search this time. I’m like part of Prowl’s brain, except I walk around sometimes.” 

Sparkplug cleared his throat loudly.

“Jazz did you check that wasn’t a human mating organ? Sparkplug’s heart rate has increased.” Prowl’s wings flicked in concern.

“No it’s fine!” Sparkplug lifted his hands. “Just not what I was expecting—our brains don’t walk around outside of us and talk.”

“Huh,” Jazz replied, “See I thought pregnant humans were carrying _fvzovbgr_ at first. Then I realised that’s just how you reproduce.”

“Right, you’re going to have to explain that word to me. _Fuzoo-vugr_.” Sparkplug knew he was stumbling badly over the Iaconian.

Jazz twitched his audials. “Okay so...I’m bonded to Prowl. It’s not like amica or cojunx because we’re physically and mentally part of the same organism. We didn’t gestate together but we can’t survive without each other long term.”

“But you both seem so different—not that it’s a bad thing,” Sparkplug said.

“So are Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to many,” Prowl said. “But Spinout is their collective mind who shares both their traits. As are we when combined.”

“Is Soundwave like this?” Sparkplug asked. 

“The Soundwave unit is a collective intellect,” Prowl offered in explanation. “In Iaconian standard a _Pneevre qrpx_.”

“I learned something today. I think,” Sparkplug replied. He decided to leave collective intellects until after he’d got used to the idea of walking brains. “So do you go inside like Soundwave’s collective?” He asked.

Jazz climbed onto Prowl’s chest. Then there was the whir and click of transformation. Jazz was gone and Prowl...there was something different about his eyes.

“Uh...” Sparkplug said.

Prowl and Jazz smiled. “We are aware this is strangr. If it comforts you we find human biology and society just as confusing.” Their wings flexed as if reading the air currents. “We can separate if it is easier for you?”

“Don’t on my behalf,” Sparkplug said. “You guys have to pretend to be something you’re not far too often for humans. You don’t have to do it for me.”

“—Anyway, our mating unit is Bumblebee,” they said.

There was a clatter and yelp as Sparkplug fell out of his chair in shock. He heard the noises of transformation as he moved to sit up.

“—JAZZ!” Prowl yelled.

“What?” Jazz grinned. “Just wanted to see if he’d believe me.”

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone is curious, the Iaconian in this fic is Rot13. It’s a simple text encryption which you can translate here https://rot13.com/


End file.
